He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just tell him i said nine months
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
