You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
