I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
