he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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