can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
