I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
