let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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