Already got asked if we're dating
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
