Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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