we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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