There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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