bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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