I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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