He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
