Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
