I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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