Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
