she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
