So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize