P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
