Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
