You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
