Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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