I wannas sexs uuuuu
love makes seman taste better
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
