i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
