Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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