I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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