I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
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Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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