you thought your balls were fighting each other...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
