He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Text me some of your sweat
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
