69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
