Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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