Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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