Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
