I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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