I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
