whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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