I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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