i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
