Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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