No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
