She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He passed out mid-signature
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
