i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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