in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
