If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
