Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
