Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
