hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
