I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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