i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
