well you can't waste a boner
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
