Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
