I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize