Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
