I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?