you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?