She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale