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I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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