Your face is a jimmy john
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
