Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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