I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
