Your tits are I can't wait for
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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