How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
