Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
