He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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