The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize